I hate it when people say they “hate” something. As I read more books and learned more, there was one thing that really struck me. When you meet someone and get to know them better, they will inevitably say that they “hate” this, that, him, or her. And just a simple question, “Why do you not like that?” will usually be answered with, “I don't know, I just don't.”. Obviously, there may be more reasons as to why the person dislikes that particular thing, but one reason stands out and is almost always the cause of their "hate.”.
The reason is influence. When you think about it, most of the time, it is not “you” that hates what you hate. It is what your older siblings, friends, parents, and role models dislike. You learn your hate from other people, mostly the ones you look up to. For example, I had a friend who always said that working at a McDonald's is for people of low status and that it is a horrible job. The only reason my friend said that, was because most of the people around him said so, even though he had no evidence of it being true. He ended up applying for the job, and there he found great comfort, new friends, and decent pay.
With this story in mind, take a step back and think about your life, and what has influenced you. Look for how many times you were wrong about something, only because you were influenced, by others, to feel that way. For clarification, let me introduce to you a few causes that can influence your thinking.
Family
There is a study that shows people base their opinions on what their parents say, and that they do, what their parents do. It is important to think on your own, do not view your family in a negative light, but do not mindlessly follow their opinions. Create your own.
Titles
A study has shown that just the title “Doctor” can lead to great errors and lives lost. Both the doctors and nurses are trained to deliver the best treatment to a patient, but sometimes the doctor can make a critical error. Prescribing too much of a drug or medication is something that can easily happen. The nurse, under the influence from the authority of the doctor, mindlessly complies. Often leading to a tragic death.
Do not be fooled by titles, learn to believe yourself. Obviously listen to your doctors, the example is there only to give you an idea of what I mean.
Clothes
Another big thing that has an influence over us are clothes. When approached by a man in a suit, we may instantly think of him as smarter or something bigger. A test was once performed by a psychologist on two men jaywalking; one was a man in a suit and the other the other was a regular construction worker. Astoundingly, three times more people joined the businessman than the regular worker.
When approached by someone who is dressed smartly, do not lose composure, sometimes it may be a marketing scheme.
Trappings
When exposed to luxury cars, hotels, foods, clothes, etc., people let their guard down and listen more carefully. What is more important: they believe more. This is also mentioned in the 48 laws of power, when you want to attain a cult or a following, you should seem rich and luxurious.
Look on social media, everyone is rich and looks good, trying to sell you their secret. Do not be fooled, take a step back, in most cases they are just trying to manipulate you into thinking they have the recipe.
Now, with this list of influences, look back at yourself, about what might have influenced you. Think about the things and people you hate, and recognize that the idea might not have started with you, but what you heard so many times from others.
In these times, it is crucial that you can withdraw from these influences, create your own opinions, and therefore be more original, have more success, and feel more yourself. Once you can detach from the influences of other people, you become your true self, you create your own opinions and see the world through your own eyes.
Once you know how to think on your own, you become unstoppable.
Thank you for reading till the end!
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